Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Cast away

Marriage topic.Generally I skip this topic of discussion but that day I couldn't control and just blasted on my friends as if they did some crime.
It was normal meet with some old friends with whom I always had great time .We were initially discussing about what we want in life and sometimes how it just turns exactly opposite . And then suddenly poiter went on marriage then Cast ."Cast " Same word which haunted me during my engineering admission . But this time from mouth of my own people."Guy should be from same cast" .I was dumbstruck on my friends idea.Even during admission cast biasing was not (fair)justified and with respect to marraige I feel it holds Zero value.
Now in this modern Era where we share our everything with different different types of people and we know "Cast don't define them what define them is their acts and attitude " .We say we belong to contemporary generation and follow ethics ,culture and values in its respected boundries.We are born independent and many other things and when it comes to marraige and your life partner you go for Cast.So weird.
when I asked justification for their thoughts answer was vague .Some said There will be more clashes when cross culture comes in picture , some said probably adjustment rate is less in intra cast marriage ,Some gave more high funda like I can't change my parents and don't want to hurt them (Its not fair to change their ideaology now) , Understanding comes with same culture .Agreed ,very well , you care for your parents, respect your culture very nice but to reject someone on basis of cast how do you find it . I find it is BullShit.
Its time to break the rules to rule your own life .Let not allow other people intevene , get basis of castism clear and follow it .
Origin of cast system was for human benefits their easiness and systematic arrangement for better lifestyle . Cast was not their to humiliate one and honor one ,it was their to take care all necessaries and expects of human's life in controlled fashion.Man only created it and they are only spoiling it .
I don't know what to do for this ,I can't change them but I just have few words to say "There are far better things in life to think about think and act on it .Don't waste your brain and time on out dated Ideas of 60's.Listen all and filter out best suited for you.Just don't blindly follow something.Grow up"


Rohan said...

First up, Happy new year!

Now, regarding your topic. Contentious issue, but don't become too statesman like. I disagree with your point of view.

Marriages in India, in our culture, are not between individuals, but between families. Every caste has its own value system. And inevitably, these value systems are conflicting to other value systems at times. It matters a lot when you try to amalgamate two different value systems, and it's a question of 2 lives. IMHO, though it is bad to discriminate based on caste, it is something that you cannot neglect when you go in search of your life partner. You are going to interact with his family and not just him.

Trying to be a crusader is easy to speak but very difficult to do. In any case, if you decide to marry somebody from other caste, he should be worth the struggle, isn't it?

Bhushan Samant said...

Happy New Year :-)

I agree with Rohan that indian marriages are family marriages and not individual ones..but in today's generation even parents are not orthodox. They give liberty to thier children of selecting right life partner of their choice and not force the cast. So its not being as "Crusader" as it was in 60's or 70's. Its quite easily implementable, if there is good communication and understanding between you and your parents.

rashmialways said...

@Rohan/Bhushan : See extension of this blog for better picture of my point of view.

Anonymous said...

Well said Rashmi.
May GOD give you the courage to walk the distance if need be...

If Mahatma wouldn't have started walking for the Dandi march... the independence would have been a dream. Its always one person that makes a difference and I am happy to see somebody having the viewpoint that you have beautifully presented.